Wednesday, March 5, 2014

recipe for a weekend baking sesh

Listen up, folks.  There's a lot involved in making this rad time go down in the history books, so pay attention!


  • 1 totally rad friend
  • All this stuff 
  • 1 episode of House
  • Any number of updates from home and funny stories about your amazing boss and horror stories about private tutoring experiences
Step 1:  Gather ingredients.  

Step 2: Start making the pretzels.  Deliver the update about your brother's new relationship status entirely in a Russian accent.  Make pun about how you were worried your parents would think you were "russian into things" with your own relationship.  Laugh uproariously.

Step 3: Let the dough rise.  Express concern about dough rising.  Drink a bottle of kombucha and deliberate over House episode.  

Step 4: Watch a House episode in which he is snarky, semi-legal, semi-ethical, and very rude.  (Hint:  This is not a difficult task.)  Discover that House is probably your sarcasm soulmate.  But not your actual soulmate because he is really a jerk.

Step 5: Shape the dough into pretzels.  Boil them, brush them, salt them, and put them into the oven.  Make more hilarious jokes.  

Step 6: Check on pretzels in the oven after 7 minutes.  Start screaming about how amazing they look and how brilliant we are.  Okay, again, but with more oomph this time!

Step 7: Finish the pretzels and eat some.  Dance around freaking out because they turned out perfectly.  Take a lot of pictures with your phone for Instagram.

Step 8: Chill out the rest of the evening swapping tales and raving about your mad baking skillz.